I waited for my husband to get home from work so we could 'deal' with the letter issue. Basically I as denied unemployment because they felt I was too sick to look for work. I am, but wanted to work a PT job. Anyway, not having my job or unemployment crippled our family. I could not pay the bills. There was no thought of going to a doctor now or paying for medication. I couldn't even feed me and that's saying something (since I live off of soup and smoothies).
I was crying and shaking by the time he got home. I don't know if it was the flare or the news. Yet I think I processed the news and it was that my body hurt so bad I just wanted to curly up and lay there forever.
My husband could only see how upset I was and gave me a big hug. He forgot in that moment about my GP and I almost vomited in the sink as he did so. I pushed him away and he seemed to get the hint as I headed to the bathroom.
That night was the worst ever. Like I said, I just wanted to be a pool of flesh in the bed ... alone. In a flare my clothes and even the sheet bug the heck out of me! No matter what I did he was trying to hold me. I would flip is arm away and it would find it's way back, I would push him and he didn't roll over. In all of this he wouldn't wake up. Ugg!! I had 1 hour left until he got up to go to work, or I was going to the couch.
When he got home that night, I told him about what I went through the night before in bed. He said all he knew to do to 'help' me was to hold me and make it all better. Great?! How could I be mad at that?! I told him how sick I felt and that I appreciate him wanting to hold me ( to make it better) but it just makes it worse during a flare. I gently tried to tell him so that I didn't hurt his feelings. Yet I didn't want to keep it from him and let him think it was okay next time I went through this.
I am so lucky to have him in my life and don't want to push him away. I am sure he must feel neglected, yet when I ask he says he his fine. On good days, he knows he is loved!
It is very difficult to balance GP and your significant other. All I can suggest is to be open and honest with each other.
