It seems that much of the holiday gatherings revolve around food. Thanksgiving is now an endless bounty of food, rather than what is was intended "Giving Thanks". To those of us with gastroparesis, our holiday invite is torture, not joy. Being in a room filled of food as far as you eye can see... counters covered with it, stove top, oven, table, end tables, you turn around and the sweet shop has taken over the top of the dryer and washer, looking outside you see the back yard fryer and BBQ going. There is no escape! People walking around eating and drinking. Asking you a hundred and one times if you need anything. You reply kindly, "No, I'm fine. Thank you". By the last time they ask, you don't want to be rude, so what do you do? Give into temptation, knowing you will be ill, but hope you get home in time. Or, hurt their feelings? You could try to educate them, but lets face it, that may be like talking to a brick wall. Or worse yet, they are the part of the family that does not believe you are sick, rather they think you are anorexic.
Any person with a chronic illness truly understands that Thanksgiving is about THANKS and not food. But to the average person it's about food and the plan of attack for shopping the next day. Which would be reason #2 that we don't want to be in a room full of these people. Chances are slip that we will not be going out the next day or at 2am to score that great deal. If we make one false move with our food, drink or time (see The Spoon Theory) we will be headed for a spiral downhill quickly. Plus, we all know about the anxiety of going out. Doesn't matter if it is to the bank or doctor, we worry of we will be okay for the car ride, if we will get sick on the way. And I 'm sure you all know where the restrooms are for each place that you go to!
For us, our THANKS are simple: we had money to pay for our medication, we got out of bed today, we got dressed today, we were able to keep food down, that our family supports and understands us. Our thanks may appear humble or small, but our way of life is much different than most people realize. Being thankful for a promotion at work that landed you a shiny new red car, will probably not be us, since most of us don't/can't work. We are thankful when we can afford to make car repairs, if we have a car. I really wish that people could look at the whole picture of their life and not take for granted the little things their life. Be thankful for what you have and not focus on what you don't have. Life is not a competition of stuff.
So, on your day of 'thanks' take a moment to figure out what you are truly thankful for. For me, it's a loving, caring, understanding husband and family.
